THE RED PILL

DIALOGUE AND DISCUSSION ON EDUCATION, ENVIRONMENT AND RACE

 

In other words, how do you ‘FEEL’, (for real), about the information that you have learned, about what you think you know, about the subject that you call RACE?

What are YOUR feelings, emotions and physical impressions about this issue? There are four recognizable emotions that are said to be universal: 1.anger 2.joy 3.sadness and 4.fear. Let us discuss these emotions, as best that we can, and what may be going on with us as we are constantly surrounded by this activity in our everyday lives.

Here is what I know to be a true example coming from my own existence and observations. When I was a young person I was both fascinated and repelled by the issue of race. The race; that I was told, that I belonged to always seemed to be behind the eight ball and I found myself always trying to explain my experience of being a black man. The feelings always seemed to be filled with frustration, confusion and shame! However, the emotion I most demonstrated and would always find myself showing was anger. At least I didn't feel as ashamed or confused when I was angry. Those feelings are now, (I think) mostly, in the past. I have since put in a lot of work to work through and change my feelings of frustration, confusion, shame and subsequently, my ANGER.

Once I uncovered the nonsense, the deceit of what race is, and more particularly what race is NOT, the emotions gradually and certainty began to reconstruct. I feel joy, and power, in being exactly what, (even more) who I am. I sense freedom in knowing, that I know, that no one can label me unless I allow it to happen by living (Being) those labels. I now know the freedom that comes from not labeling anybody and not allowing anyone to label me. I can say that I DO feel wonderful about myself. I love freedom and free people.

How about you? What do you feel?

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I feel that at this time  some of us may need to go back and restart-reignite and some of us have not yet acheived the initial ignition---read the complete thread that is here to absorb---to soak up!!!

B.

Upon looking at this thread, one more time, I know this is worth every minute invested.

B.

Namaska Brother Al and to everyone else,

 
As I started reading the posting, I was thinking what about shame.? Then I reached your response about anger masking as shame. I was sheltered so to speak growing up and with my father owning his own business, we lived in the so called white neighborhood and so called black people would say that my brother and I spoke and acted white. It was confusing to me growing up but I never put much thought in it. I could see a difference in the standard of living but my father always told us growing up that if we worked for ourselves and were our own boss, we could live just as well as so called white people. I remember two local bars that had a so called black side and white side, segregation was not enforced but for the most part the two “races” pretty much stayed on their designated side. I would often think why people who look more like me seem to have less but I don’t recall having a particular feeling one way or the other.


I remember in school feeling ashamed when being taught about slavery, but my family never really discussed race issues much. My mother would tell us about the race riots in DC and she would get nervous around police officers and tell us not to look at them but I never asked why. I thought things were different and that everyone had a fair chance based on how we grew up. Ah, to be a child again…


I never really experienced any so called difference until I joined the Army and for some reason even though I could deal equally with so called whites and blacks based on my life experiences up to that point I felt almost obligated to socialize more with those who looked more like me. I really began to notice the difference in how groups of people were treated. I took it upon myself to keep notes and one day utilized the open door policy to bring up these issues to the First Sergeant, who told me I had no complaint because we did not experience REAL RACISM as he did. I think I was from that point on labeled as a trouble maker or someone too smart for my own good. Still I would feel more ashamed more than anything with some of the people who looked like me. Reflecting back on it now I can recall situations where I would attempt to prove that people who looked like I do we not inferior as suggested.


It wasn’t until about two years ago that I really went through an anger stage, when I came across the “conscious community.” After hearing and researching some of the information I was exposed to I was really angry about not having been taught about this information before and even wondered how different my life could have possibly been with this information. Being a person who likes to think, I soon realized that I was not the only lied to, and soon regained control of that emotion. Now I use the information and the feeling I get now is power with still a bit of anger and frustration that more have no interest. I understand that I can only cause a change in my world and after coming into the information I am glad that I have had a well rounded life experience because I can truly say that there are both good and bad people and it has absolutely nothing to do with the skin tone to determine if they are either good or bad. Now the real work begins for me to break down the lies that have been instilled to my children.

Adisa, you have a powerful story to share and thanks for your truth. That seems to be the hard thing for many to accept. Nothing can change the past, but one can change the right now if they are willing to not color the past, but accept it for what it was in its stark reality. Then we are rolling.

@ Adisa & AL---Moments of catharsis can become extremely important in those who are striving toward a life filled with WELL-BEING.

B.

Mr. Black I realize the risk at speaking what one sees as true. As long as I believed I was black I also believed there were white people. The way they have constructed race, that colors both my perception of them being superior and people who look like me as inferior. Since I had nothing to do with constructing either thought all I could do was by in and bought I did with no information. 

Don't you find that odd that I would embrace concepts about my very being yet do no examination as to the veracity of the label? I do now, I didn't then. That I find fascinating. I know I am not the only one that did it, but I am among the few that will admit that's what I did. I have no excuses, no one to blame. No one taught me not to be curious, not to search and examine things. I was born with that wonderment, but not with that ability and if most people are like me, I didn't even know the ability existed. 

Sometimes I do feel sad that it took me so long to figure just that part out. Sometimes I indulge my own anger of allowing myself to have been deceived by people who only wanted to be accepted by their enemy. By enemy I mean anyone who would use power against me, period. I had to get over my sadness and my ego's need to feel special therefore to desire create yet another false identity to replace the one given to me by society.  The inclination to do that is great and compelling, thus the rash and rush to change ones name and embrace cultures of antiquity. Even that requires inspection and examination.

After Yah-Yah shared water with Jah, the latter was able to see much more about reality and I am sure that it was just as hard for him to come to grips with the situation of that time as it is for you right NOW.

Keep your head to the sky!!!!!

B.

Coming to grips isn't the hard thing. I think as time goes by and I keep doing what I do that becomes less difficult. It's having conversation with someone who is not willing to look or "try on" a different perspective. I find my world and circle getting small and tight. I love being expansive that is part of my nature and I have come to accept that about myself. Now the issue is how do I stay true to truth and who I am? In other words it gets lonely sometimes. I know you can grok that. 

 

I liken this journey to the man and the talking frog that used to come on the cartoons. The frog would sing and dance for him, but when he tried to show others what the frog could do it would only go "ribbit." To that end the frog was a curse to the man and he spent his life in poverty with such a wonderful gift that he could not share with anyone. Seeing truth and abstracts can be very much like that, but occasionally someone does come along and listen and will do the work to peel back the curtain of lies and illusions. However, they are few and in between.

I remember my first encounter with a co-called white was when I was around 11 or 12 years old.  My mom took me to Magic Kingdom in Los Angelos, California.  I didn't see many people that looked like me of course it was early in the day when we went. The first ride we got on was the train because my mom figured that would give us a sense of what the park had to offer and we could pinpoint where we wanted to go.  We were seated on the back row of the last train.  Didn't think anything about it until I look up and there was this so-called white woman looking at me with disgrace.  She asked her granddaughter to move up there where she was and her mom or aunt moved back there where I was.  All of a sudden I realized what I heard Martin Luther King and other so-called black people were talking about.  I ignored them.  I can't remember where I got that from, but I just did.  I wanted to tell her so bad that what she did, didn't make a difference. I was still on the train.  As the day went on, riding every ride that my heart so desired, I ended the day riding, "It's a small world".  It was a boot ride through a maze that displayed scenes of other countries with dolls representing the countries dress.  I was on the back row of the boat and I was by myself.  As I was riding through the maze, I noticed that when they got to Africa, all the dolls were smut black.  There was no other distinction.  They were black and the other cultures were pale.  I left California with an understanding that I will always have to deal with how someone else saw me. I developed a wall whenever I saw a so-called white person just to protect my feelings in case they had a hidden agenda to diminish me. I soon got over that when I got to college and got a chance to meet the real cultures.  Indians, Hindu, Arabs, a variety of Asians, etc.  They didn't care what color I was. They all gravitated towards me.  I realized then where race came from and decided to give it no more thought. 

LaJuana, I remember my first trip to New York City. Being from Memphis, where most people are stuck in this false construct of race,,I was immediately overwhelmed with the dilemma of trying to categorize people by race predicated on skin color. I heard languages and accents I didn't even know existed. People were all kinds of complexions with all kinds of hair styles and a whole lot of people who didn't look like so called black people damn sure talked like so called black people.

 

On my first day there I was walking through one of the many small parks on Manhattan and as I was passing a group of so called young white men, I heard, as I walked by, "What's up my nigga?" I stopped, turned around with my hand on my rather large pocket knife thinking, "Ok so it's gonna go down like this?" only to see they were paying no attention to me, they were talking to each other. That was in 1996. I began to ponder is part of what I believe because I come from a city fixated on this race concept with no consideration that there are many places other than this back water town with many different people who don't define themselves by a color? Could my surroundings, my environment be shaping  my reality and is that a present correct reality? It would take a few more years before my questions were addressed. 

 

It's certainly my surroundings.  Living in Memphis has showed me that separate but equal is alive and well.  Only that the equal part means stay level, dont progress.  Or stay one step below me.  Memphis is a trap for ignorance.  Also, I realized that money is the new race and the term, "undesirable" has replaced black, hispanics, and muslims. People tend to associate with those that are within 5% of there existence. For example, politics, religion, social status, and acceptance.  What does it take for acceptance.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.  I like this class and the pwople in it.  Hope to see you Wednesday.

Namaska Ms. Flagg---One of the aspects of life that the class can help with, is, the attitude that a great number of people have in regard to acceptance and tolerence. These attitudes must be understood in order to change the conditions that our children are born into.

B. 

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